The 7 Attitudes of Mindfulness

In the world of mindfulness, well-being, and stress reduction, there are certain attitudes that you can bring into your being to create a more fulfilling life. These are some of them, although there are others, and gratitude and generosity are some more recent additions. I present them with some thoughts. To embody them is to bring them into you presence with intention. For example, one I work on constantly is patience. I personally need to be very intentional about being patient because it is not natural to me, I want it now, or yesterday. Patience is a virtue for a reason. 

Beginner’s Mind- Being open to seeing things with fresh eyes. Experiencing the moment as it unfolds without judgment. Tasting your food instead of thinking about how it will taste. Talking to someone without a goal in mind. Bringing a kind and curious attitude to your life moment by moment. Think of how when you see a young child receive a new toy or come across an everyday object for the first time, they study it, touch it, maybe taste it, are excited by the prospect of something new. They explore it. Life is much more fascinating when it is explored in the moment and we let go of thoughts and preconceived notions about how something should be this way or that. Have fun with this concept. Go off the beaten path and get a little lost.  Cook your favorite food without the recipe. Feel the wind and sun on your skin as you take a walk, feel your feet, experience it as if you had never done it before. You may find that this way of being is curiously fun and helpful in finding joy, in each step.

Patience- The opposite of what I usually like to do. Patience is a form of wisdom to allow things to unfold in their own time, knowing that they will. A wise teacher of mine told me patience is always a good practice. I was being impatient, I wanted to finish the race without completing all the steps as they were intended. He was right. There was no benefit to finishing when I thought I could have. I needed to wait, and practice being patient. It paid off. Patience is one of those skills that is truly wise. In a world where we constantly seek approval (approval is like a drug by the way), validation, and instant gratification- patience can keep us wise and even keeled. I need to get married and have kids now, I need to get rich quick… it is easy to get into trouble when you do not practice patience. Just look at driving on the roads again, everyone is in such a hurry and yet we all end up at the same stop lights. Where are we going? There are many opportunities to practice patience on any day. Choose your moments and feel the breath in the body and be patient. Everything will unfold as intended when it is ready.

Trust- You must learn to trust yourself, the decisions you make, and your own autonomy and authority. We all have some form of intuition and higher self we can call on to help guide us to what we believe are the best decisions or path forward in life. Many people live their lives according to what other people think. I have been guilty of this many times. I chose my college based on what other people thought and not what I did. Sometimes this can become a pattern where people become the victim or enslaved to what other people think, and it can lead to a life of unhappiness. You will change the dynamic of your life when you start to take responsibility for the path and decisions you make in the moment. Remember, you can only do what you think is right in the moment, regardless of the outcome. I often see clients who chose careers based on what their parents wanted and they are often very distressed by that decision because they are not living in their own truth. Trust that you have the ability to live out your truth and personal destiny.

Non-Striving- Ultimately practicing mindfulness meditation is a non-doing, so what does that mean? We are shifting out of doing mode and into being mode. The mind cannot be in both places at the same time. We are not working toward any specific outcome but rather observing the mind with our conscious awareness and allowing everything to simply be like it is. By allowing the mind to rest little by little the body can relax as well and homeostasis can be achieved. This is where we can be restored and allow the body to heal itself. It is counterintuitive but by not striving for the goal there is an outcome that is possible and beneficial. This can be tricky, because the goal is not to seek out pleasant moments, but rather observe all that is pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral without discernment. When we resist that which is unpleasant it creates tension and stress. When we allow the experience of the moment to simply be, through non-striving, then we can achieve harmony and balance.

Acceptance- things happen in life. Life happens. Accept it. Don’t think if things or people as good and bad, we are all aspects of both. People are people. Events are events. There is learning in each moment. I don’t have to like my divorce, but I can choose to accept it as a learning opportunity. Accepting something doesn’t mean you are okay with it either. Accepting a situation or hurt can be painful but it is important to acknowledge the hurt so you can respond to it with wisdom.