Suicide: When the Darkness Feels Like the Only Truth
Dec 10, 2025If you're here because you're thinking about leaving this life—or just curious—I want to speak directly to that part of you that's still searching. The part that brought you to these words.
I grew up between generations, watching the Cold War simmer, imagining nuclear annihilation as a real possibility. We played basketball in school gyms marked as bomb shelters, and felt heroic watching the show GI Joe. That low-grade existential dread became part of the background noise of life.
In 2018, people in Hawaii woke to a government emergency message on their phones: "BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL."
For 38 minutes, thousands believed they had minutes to live. Parents held their children. People called the ones they loved. When they learned it was a false alarm, many didn't go back to exactly who they were before. (Jim Carrey was on the island that day—he later wrote about how it changed him.) You never know when the world could end. Perhaps we're all growing through this collective fear, evolving beyond cataclysm toward something better.
I share this because real things happen. Life can change or end in an instant. Which means this moment—right now—matters. Your next breath matters.
In 2000, a man named Kevin Hines jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge. He's one of the very few who survived. He'll tell you that the instant his hands left the railing, he realized he'd made a terrible mistake. In his words: "Everything in my life that I thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped."
The stress and anxiety of life can seem overwhelming. Hopeless. Helpless.
I've sat with my own darkness. I've sat across from hundreds of people in that same space. Maybe you're sitting in it now—the suffocating heaviness, the certainty that this is all there is.
What I've witnessed over and over is this: the truth you're living in right now is not the only truth available to you.
There are many possibilities if you're willing to look a little deeper. To perceive your situation in a new light. To see this moment from another perspective. Keep this mantra: When in doubt, zoom out.
Albert Camus wrote: "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."
You might be in that winter right now. But there is something in you that winter cannot kill—even if you can't feel it yet. Yogananda taught that you are a spark of the cosmic flame. At Steve Jobs's private funeral, attendees were given copies of Autobiography of a Yogi. He first read it in 1974 while on his trip to India, and it had such a profound impact on him he re-read it once a year. If you haven't read it, I recommend it. It will give you a new perspective on life, death, and what lies beyond (or in between).
Right now, as Thich Nhat Hanh taught: "Just breathe. You are alive. That is a miracle."
That may sound impossible to believe. But your breath doesn't need your belief. It just keeps going, holding you here. Breathe deeply, you are alive.
You are not your thoughts. You are not this moment of suffering. You are the awareness that can hold even this.
You matter. You are important. Your life is precious. There is a reason you are here—you just need to look inside your heart and discover what that is. You will know.
There is a version of your life waiting beyond this moment. You can remember who you are beneath the pain. The pain is a motivator. Fear is a messenger and a friend. You are not beyond transformation. You never were.
I'll leave you with these words from Thich Nhat Hanh:
"Please live. We need you."
If you need help right now:
- Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
- Text HELLO to 741741 (Crisis Text Line)
If you're looking for support as you navigate what comes next, I'm here. Journey Mindfulness offers individual therapy and mindfulness-based approaches for those ready to find their way back to themselves.
You don't have to walk this path alone.
